You Gotta Put Some Mousse On It

Reflections and Tips for Flat-butt Mixed-European Descent Hair

I’m passing by my coworker’s open office door and decide to stop in for a quick hello. She returns the pleasantries and makes the remark: “What did you do differently to your hair?”

My hair care routine includes every ten week visits to the colorist to brighten and/or change up the shade, so comments regarding these alterations are somewhat routine. But this time, she was not speaking to the tint. She remarks on the volume of my coif. The bigness, if you will.

Now, we must circle back to the realm of hair genetics. The people in my family are not those I would describe as blessed with substantial hair perimeters. Meaning, we have flat-ass hair lying atop mixed European plus a wee bit of Native American heads. That’s really all there is to confirm regarding the history of our do’s.

Does this describe you? Have you trialed the home perm kit? My sisters and I both did, twice. Our willing but under-enthusiastic mother was the workhorse, toiling persistently for her show ponies. After the whole process was over (a full Friday night) not only did it neglect to add oomph to our strands whatsoever, but the smell of chemicals soaking on tissue paper embedded in curlers is forever etched in our olfactory memories.

Did you commit to endless blow dry sessions in efforts to pump up the nature of your style? Maybe you’ve watched TikTok videos by hair gurus explaining to you the perfect recipe for increased hair bulk. Have you purchased a multitude of mass-enhancing products, including, but not limited to, dry shampoo, gel, volume-enhancing hair spray, regular shampoo that promises 23% more bigness, texturizing finishers, big powder, and my personal favorite: volumizing mousse?

Listen up. If you have hair like mine, you’ve got to put some mousse on it!

My buddy inquired the other day as to my process, and I’ve decided to extrapolate it here in a friendly, step by step, process.

1. Buy this mousse from Target or Amazon for about $15

2. Take a shower and wash your hair.

3. Believe this will work.

4. Shoot a golf-sized ball dollop of the mousse onto your hand and diffuse it around your digits and palm areas (hopefully, your palms aren’t sweating for this step, or elsewhere.)

5. Gently, but intentionally, massage the mousse into the *roots* of your coif, paying special attention to the flat-ass area on top of your head. The rump of your head doesn’t need so much, particularly if you are prone to greasiness.

6. Consumer’s choice: EITHER blow dry your coif now OR bundle it up into a loose bun atop your head while it’s still wet if you have time to let it dry heat-free. Here’s an illustrated example of the wet bun option:

7. Once dried, style per your routine and add finishing spray while your head is flipped over (I’m a big fan of this 3-in-1 product at Target or Amazon).

8. Glisten your mug with facial mist because you’ve already gone off the rails with your spritzing product use.

9. Breeze through the doorway to your world and conquer it!

Pictured: finished coif with largest amount of mass that can be added to my toneless hair, and child upset that I took away Mickey to capture it.

Be sure to follow the steps and use the two correct products. As my friend remarked as she was placing the mousse and finisher into her cart:

“Might as well do it right if I am going to do it.”

You have any additional tips for increasing bigness of our hair bundles? Share with us your failed at-home perm sessions! You know the drill, let us know in the cawwwments!

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