Listen, we get it. Not everyone reaches the heights of 5’9’’ and 5’10’’ respectively (specifically if you have two X chromosomes). We certainly realize, respect, and love that humans come in a variety of shapes, sizes, skin colors, heights, and builds. And we try our derndest, although no one is perfect, to not comment on these aspects of a person, unless they specifically request us to do so.
A good rule of thumb someone once told us is this:
“We do not comment on the appearance of someone unless it is something they can fix in less than 30 seconds.”*
With that in mind, we would like to take this opportunity to get something off our chests.
When you tell a tall person that they are tall, it’s quite irritating.
Here are some comebacks we wish we could utter/yell when someone tells us just how tall we are, but they are not considered socially acceptable. Now, before those of you who’ve made this transgression get defensive, please know this is 50% done for fun and 50% because we didn’t have a lick of other inspiration for this week. We also know you may save face by telling us it is blurted out in envy. And if that’s the case, tell us in the moment, so we can brag that we can reach the top shelf paper towels without using a clothes hanger to knock them off. Without further ado…
You are very tall!
“Thanks! You are incredibly short.”
You are so tall!
“Yes, Meghan. And you are still Markle.”
You are so tall!
Your hairline is receding.
You are very tall!
…and you still haven’t learned to shut your mouth.
You are tall!
*stares, walks away*
You are so very tall.
You are very pasty.
You’re tall!
You’re small (minded).
You’re, like, really tall.
You have self esteem issues.
Wow, how tall are you?
Tall enough to feel like a giant in any social setting, thanks for the reminder.
You are so tall, how do you find jeans that fit?
I invented capris before they had a name. Still waiting for those royalty checks.
How tall is your husband?
I hand selected him based upon his measurements.
Does tallness run in your family?
Sure does. It’s a wonder no one has made it to the NBA but we’re feeling really good about our U-5er.
At the end of the day, everyone has a “story of life” they have to endure. The fun “tall” comments are a large part of ours. What’s yours? What would you like to quip back if it were socially acceptable? You know the drill… let us know in the cawwwments!
*Actually, we saw an Instagram reel on it— a wise teacher instructing a class of five-year-olds—supporting the adage that everything we need to know about life, we learned in kindergarten
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Ahhh my Khlo. So tall.
I'm 5'1 so can't relate, but do relate to ppl's rudeness!!!