Yes, We Can

Let’s show up for the U.S. National Team competing in the 2023 FIFA Women’s World Cup

Bethany can still teleport back to it. The moment when Brandi Chastain walked up to the 18 yard box and faced the Chinese goal keeper, Gao Hong, to take the fifth and final penalty kick in the championship game of the 1999 Women’s World Cup (WWC).

The match was held at the Rose Bowl in Pasadena, California on July 10th, 1999, in front of 90,185 fans. Our mom, and Bethany’s best friend Alicia’s mom, Terri, had procured tickets for them months in advance. They would get to be there for the final game of the tournament. Although the USA team was highly favored, it wasn’t a guarantee that they would be in this match. Low and behold, they made it to the pitch of the championship. They were slotted to play China for a chance at their second World Cup victory, the first having been in 1991 (the WWC inaugural year).

It was a tight game, a fierce battle, and at the end of regulation, a nil-nil draw. Two rounds of golden goal overtime commenced (sudden death, in which the first team to score takes victory). Still nil-nil. They moved on to penalty kicks. One player stands inside the 18 yard box, facing a ball, and one of the best goal keepers in the world, and aims to score. The first two rounds of strikers scored. The third Chinese striker shot, and it was blocked by Briana Scurry, the US goalkeeper. **By the way, while Bethany was refreshing herself on the facts of this match, she came across reports that Briana stepped off her line for this kick, a clear violation, which should have resulted in a re-do but the save stood (think about if that history was re-written…).**

The USA was now up 3-2 and there were two more kickers left for each side. Number 4 for each team scored. Now 4-3. China’s fifth and final striker, Sun Wen, tied it 4-4 with one shot left to go. Brandi’s shot. It went in. The celebration was insane, deafening. Bethany can recall barely visualizing the iconic moment when Brandi ripped off her jersey and dropped to her knees on the green grass of the pitch, throwing a first pump to the world, jersey in hand. Soon, the two girls and two women were engulfed in a sea of jumping bodies, arms flying, voices screaming. Bethany remembers crying, yelling, clutching Alicia while they jumped up and down with red, white, and blue sweat dripping down their faces from their dyed hair.

Wherever cloud nine is, Bethany and Alicia were on it that day. At the time, they didn’t have much of an idea as to the significance of the historical event they had just witnessed. They didn’t reflect on what possibly culminated in them, two girls and two women from a sleepy town in the Mojave desert, being amongst the witnesses that composed the still-standing international record for the largest crowd at a women’s sporting event.

Now, as our USWNT competes in the FIFA 2023 WWC for a chance at a three-peat (three World Cup victories in a row, something that has never been done before by any national team, men’s or women’s), we find ourselves reflecting on what got them to that moment, and on how women do great things in sports in general.

Alicia and Bethany played together in their town’s only competitive soccer league, the Ridgecrest Scorpions. There, they met a few different coaches who helped develop the girls teams. One day in April 1998, a coach pitched the following:

“The US Women’s National Team is playing a friendly match against Argentina at Cal State Fullerton. We think this would be a great event for the team to attend!”

So, their parents gathered a crew of fifteen pre-teen girls and a few mini vans, and hit the road. They were exposed to an amazingly high level of soccer that they had never seen before in real life. They were in awe as to the degree of competition and skill these women had. And, they heard multiple starstruck conversations surrounding them as they watched Mia Hamm in the flesh.

The giddy group of girls begged to stay after the game because the USWNT was kind enough to stick around, slapping high fives and signing programs. They gathered at the fence line, hollering for a glance their way. Bethany saw Mia, speaking with a reporter, and the girls raised the cacophony. Mia wrapped up her conversation, gestured towards the girls with a pen in hand, and began the trek their way. The girls erupted in excitement. Here was arguably the best female soccer player in the world, and she was walking toward them. Their tween bodies molded into one untamed ball of elation, gathering to push their programs out in front. Mia began signing one, then another.

Bethany will never forget what happened next. Mia Hamm looked up, locked eyes with her, and calmly took Bethany’s event program, signing her name along the side. Bethany reached as far as she could muster to receive it back, and went running back to her mom, unable to believe what had just transpired.

That experience left the girls with a new outlook: They now had adult women soccer players to emulate. From there, Alicia and Bethany read magazines and news articles on the team and bought posters. They plastered them on their flashy purple walls, and persuaded their parents to buy them USWNT jerseys. That led them to the interest and opportunity to purchase seats at the 1999 Women’s World Cup.

Had it not been for engaged coaches (both men, who believed strongly in the game of women’s soccer) and parents that supported their interests, this never would have came to be.

Teleport now to May 2023. Kara’s daughter (M) was agonizing over whether to commit to competitive soccer or gymnastics. The decision was seeming more obvious by the day: she would select gymnastics. Notwithstanding this inevitability, her parents convinced her to go out for the soccer evaluations to keep options open. She reluctantly agreed.

By the end of evaluations, the coach gathered all of the parents to tell them calls would be made that weekend to communicate decisions on what was what. Knowing the coach would be making some tough decisions, Kara felt obligated to tell him that M was very much convinced she wouldn’t be playing that year. The coach hung his head. He then told Kara so many positives about M, the level of play, and the potential. He asked for M to think it over and give him a decision by the end of the weekend.

Kara and her husband told M what the coach said about her. She was so excited by the positive feedback and encouragement that it started having an impact on what she was thinking.

Sort of by happenstance, Kara’s family had planned to attend a professional women’s soccer match in Orlando that weekend. Local soccer hero Carson Pickett, who now plays for Racing Louisville FC, happens to be the daughter of a friend and colleague of Kara’s husband. Since Louisville was playing in Orlando, Kara and her husband wanted to go support Carson and show M what professional women’s soccer is all about.

Fortuitously, the family stayed at the same hotel as the Louisville team. While waiting in the lobby to check in, M dawned her handmade Louisville t-shirt and grinned at each player who was headed for the team bus, but was too shy to approach. They all graciously grinned back.

Kara’s family had seats right next to the away team bench, and M gazed on in amazement at the team and their intensity of play. She said things like, “Her hair is so cool,” and, “I think I could play like this,” and, “They run SO fast!” She yelled as loud as she could for Carson. Her little brother chimed in too. “Go Cah-son!”

The game was a fierce match, with Orlando pulling out the win 1-0. It must have been a tough game personally for Carson, who had recently played for the opposing Orlando team and who played incredibly well that night.

Afterwards, Carson’s mother kindly took M to meet the star on the sideline of the pitch. Unlike many professional athletes fresh off a hard loss, you wouldn’t know it if Carson was having a tough time with the outcome. She could not have been more inviting. She greeted the little girl with warmth. She asked her if she enjoyed the game. She posed for pictures. What a special moment. A formative moment.

On the walk back to the hotel, M had not only decided she would be playing soccer, but had also announced she would soon be playing with Carson. They would be teammates.

All because of a coach’s encouragement and a professional player’s kindness.

These experiences are highly influential, helping to shape the minds of our young girls. Impressionable, youthful brains, that often times are wondering what is is acceptable for them to do, what is achievable, what results in them feeling wanted, loved, adored.

Is it okay to be athletic? Strong? Competitive?

Can they speak their minds, fight for what they believe in, be a leader for their teams?

Carson Pickett, Mia Hamm, and countless other female athletes have demonstrated for us that yes, we can be the above. We can be phenomenal soccer players on the pitch, and extraordinary humans in the day-to-day. We can strike endorsement deals with Nike and be in lasting, loving relationships. We can win Gold medals and birth children. We can “have it all” — and here’s the important part: we get to decide what that means for us.

But this isn’t just about women. In close proximity to these successful and confident women, there are many men.

“Media sensationalizes the bad guys. Refuse to give up talking about the good guys.”

—Bethany’s Father’s Day post, June 17, 2018

Bethany’s first competitive league soccer coach, who taught her team about the USWNT and encouraged them to attend their first friendly soccer match, is a man. He committed hour after hour to the team, out there on the pitch, teaching the girls the game of soccer.

The coach who stepped in to take over the team from him is a man. A very kind, insightful, wise coach that took a very inexperienced team from a tiny California town and transformed them into an extremely competitive and a winning team by the time Alicia had graduated from high school. Bethany still keeps in touch with him to this day and considers him a life mentor.

It was a male coach who listened to Kara discuss M’s unresolved thoughts about returning to the next season, and provided encouraging and supportive feedback that was very valuable to the little girl.

The parents who stayed back and watched five other children so that Alicia, Bethany, and their moms could attend the World Cup match, are men.

A man attended the Louisville soccer match with his daughter and encouraged her to keep an open mind to the possibility of continued play.

Carson Pickett, although we don’t know her personally, was raised in part by a father who is a prominent soccer coach in our area and who coached her growing up and in high school.

Supportive, confident, available, and loving men who advocate for us. This matters and makes a substantial difference. The proof is in our hearts and our children’s smiles.

As we continue to root on our USWNT in hopes for a World Cup victory, let us all remember what is required to grasp true glory. It takes tenacity and teamwork, in every facet of the game. Glory requires mutual respect among the participants and fans. Glory requires coaches to anticipate the defining moments, players who persevere despite adversity, and a crowd of supporters who are unified in a common goal. A crowd of humans from the U.S. of A. that raise our daughters up, echoing the credence of a proud country: “Yes, We Can.”