The Unqualified Stamp of Approval (#1)

Knock it Off and Listen Up

Hi Everyone, Bethany here. This week, we are playing with the “newsletter” style of writing. Partially because it sounds like a really fun way to catch up but also, I have zero story inspiration, and Kara, well, she is slightly preoccupied with a life transition. So you get what you get, and you don’t get upset! The following is a summary of recent updates, purchases, events, travels, listens, reads, ponders I have done this fall.

If you enjoy the updates, let us know in the comments!

What I’m Loving Lately

Good customer service people named Amy. We had issues gaining entry into our airBNB for a recent mountain trip and thank goodness, although we booked a place with a third party property management company, the woman I got a hold of was able to help us rather quickly, which is extremely important after traveling 7+ hours in a car with three children and a canine.

These boots from the Thursday Boot Company. I bought them last year and had only worn them a handful of times in 2022. Now, I feel we are at the “confirmed status” stage of our relationship and I’m digging the look, the relative comfort, and of course, the name of the selected shade “Black Coffee.” They have a wide variety of color / texture finishes to them. They are on the pricier side but I have a feeling these are boots that will last a long time.

What I Listened To

One of my favorite podcasts is the “We Can Do Hard Things” show with Glennon Doyle, Abby Wambach, and Amanda Doyle (yes, the Doyles are sisters). No subject is off-limits and they bring on a variety of people to share their work with the world. A recent Tuesday episode was probably my favorite to date! The women talk to Priya Parker about how to host a truly magical gathering. I love this topic so fervently and feel many of us can improve in this area. Often times, we gather without a specific purpose and/or over-invite to be “inclusive.” Priya walks us through ways we can be more intentional and creative with our gatherings to allow for the truly soulful moments to be birthed. You’ve got to listen to this one!

What I Read

I flew through The Woman in Me by Britney Spears in two days. It was reportedly written by a ghost writer; however, it seems very in tune with the way she would speak to you if telling you about her life over coffee. Poignant and alarming, Britney speaks to the multiple times in her life that were hard and how celebrity culture capitalized on her pain.

Reading Britney’s memoir was engrossing and scary. I felt so deeply for the little girl that was catapulted into the culture of the entertainment industry. I acknowledge these are her words, her story, and there are many elements and events that were omitted or perhaps embellished or maybe seen by others as not true. But one cannot ignore the pain of loneliness she had “at the top.” The mental breakdown of being separated from her babies and feeling like nobody was on her side. The powerlessness while under a 13-year conservatorship controlled by her father, who had his own significant issues. The multiple visits to rehab where she had repeated nightmares and paranoias. I really felt heartbroken for her and in awe that she made it through everything that came her way. She spoke to the power of prayer and people standing up for her when she couldn’t for herself. The book left me praying for her safety, her health, her children, and her future. The mother in me sends her a very long, warm hug. Britney, you are loved.

What I Bought

After reading her memoir, I replenished my long worn out supply of Britney Spears’ signature scent, Curious. You know the one. The beautiful turquoise glimmer in the shape reminiscent of a queen’s staff. I wore this perfume in the early to mid ‘00s and never should have let it go. Chuckle/judge all you want, but when you get a whiff of me, you’ll understand.

Letters to My Palestinian Neighbor by Yossi Klein Halevi after hearing this book referenced on a podcast discussing this terribly sad conflict. I do not write about, or voice opinions on, topics that I do not understand or have not experienced myself, but like many others, this crisis is in my thoughts, and the people affected, in my prayers. I am just beginning the book but am hopeful it will help me gain a minuscule amount of insight into a very complex situation.

What I Baked

My family loves the Kodiak brand pancake mix (we get them at Costco, but I’ve seen the brand at Fresh Market and Ingles). We typically use the batter for pancakes, but there is also a recipe on the box for banana muffins. One usually has what they need on hand for making them, plus two over-ripe bananas. The kids (and hubs) gobble them all up.

Where I’ve Visited

The mountains of North Carolina. In the past, we have stayed in the Woodfin area of Asheville (just north of the city) but our usual airBNB host no longer hosts… or no longer hosts us. TBD. Anyway, we stayed closer to the Bent Creek area this go around. We haven’t ventured to Maggie Valley in our prior trips, so we spent a day there. Joey’s pancake house (est. 1966) was beautifully decorated for Christmas and felt so cozy inside.

Adam and I shared a blueberry and ricotta pancake but sweetness isn’t quite our vibe these days— we also shared the breakfast burrito which was delicious.

When I Failed

A couple months before the actual event, I bought tickets to our local Green Cove Springs farm fall festival event. Nothing against the place itself, it’s a really fun and well-put-on event complete with a tractor train ride, farm animals, multiple pumpkin photo ops and a jump pad. The problem lied in our overly packed Friday/Saturday commitment time table. It left us with one available slot: the last Friday of the season when the weather could only be compared to absolute piss. Still, since I spent approximately $45 on (the presale) tickets, I forced the family to participate through the drizzly cold. We were soaked to the bone by the time we left and my older two kids kept asking me why I hated them. The youngest child surely would’ve chimed in with this sentiment, had she understood what it means to be facetious.

The takeaway: it’s an adorable farm visit for youngsters, but in our current stage of life where youth sports dictates many’a Saturdays, I won’t be “pre-buying” this sort of event again. But, Emma needed her moment on the cow train, too.

When I Prevailed

While on vacation in the Arden/Mills River, North Carolina area, I found myself craving a delicious Japanese restaurant we have had multiple times prior: Itto Ramen Bar and Tapas. I schemed and plotted to make this our stop on the way back from hiking and brewery stops in the Mills River area. The minute the first dish hit our table, the kids raved about the food.

The legendary (at least to us) avocado balls

Sentences like “That’s it..we are moving to Japan.” and “This food is insane, out of this world, spaceship vibes.” were uttered. The kids loved the Itto buns and ramen + pork bowl, while Adam and I feasted on avocado balls, a ramen burger, and the curry ramen bowl. If ever in the area, we highly (like…outer space high) recommend a visit.

The curry ramen bowl with ground pork

The ramen burger- we opted for the veggie burger but they also have a carne version

Where I’m Streaking

I recently surpassed 84 weeks strong on my piano practice. This does not mean I play everyday, on the contrary. It means I have played at least once in the seven day period. I have been aiming to play at least 2-3 days a week lately. Usually, I warm up at the “Classical 1” level with Vivaldi’s Spring and other historical composers so as to manifest a classy vibe myself. My two older children continue with their piano streaks as well. Cal, the five year old, recently nailed his first rendition of “I Just Can’t Wait to be King!”

I continue efforts at daily Spanish practice on Duolingo and recently approached the 1 year milestone. This app allows you to miss up to two days in a row (if you have enough “streak freezes”). While on our mountain vacation, shocker, I was out of rhythm and missed two days in a row with only one streak freeze in my bank. However, the app has a forgiving feature now that allows you a next day opportunity to restore one’s streak if you do 2-3x your normal practice amount! I completed this and am back to my daily cadence.

What I’m Pondering

I hate feeling this way and don’t like admitting it, but the past five years or so, the holiday season has really stressed me out and I’ve found myself dreading the arrival. This is for a variety of reasons, I think. First, there is the feeling of wanting to “host” a beautiful and magical holiday for my children. Of course we all want that, but like many things, social media has crept into our psyche over the years and we’ve seen the little Johnson children harvest their own corn from their brand new 3 acre farm for Thanksgiving, visit Mickey’s Very Merry Christmas Party and take New Year’s Eve tea with the King in London. Whether or not any of us want to admit it, many of our standards are informed by our smartphone scrolling.

Besides the comparison charade, there is the scheduling demand. The number of events occurring at school, and on the weekends. Our time fills up before we realize what is happening and this seems magnified during the holiday season.

Then comes the guilt. What is the season really about, I remind myself. Have we taught our children service to the less fortunate? Or are we all fixated on the shiny things and showing them to other people? Shame creeps in as I inevitably reflect on how much time I spent shopping for people who have what they need and not enough on how much effort is put into alleviating the pain that is felt during the holiday season.

I never feel like I do the holidays well. So, I think this year, I’m starting with lowering my expectations of…stuff. Opening up my eyes to the possibility of unique opportunities to contribute to the loving energy of the season. Asking my spouse to help with more than the wrapping. Allowing my children to feel morsels of “want,” realizing this sensation often breeds ambition. Hoping for a greater connection of belonging and joy. Here’s to the holiday season, friends. Let’s take care of one another.

What I recommend

Speaking of taking care, please check out The Universe here on Substack. It is a lovely and succinct daily reminder of tapping into positive energy and peace.

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