I casually walk into the hair salon after a killer week at work. It’s 6:00 pm on a Friday, because when else can I find two hours to slap some bleach on these roots? Given that most people are doing something exciting during this time, the place is almost completely empty, except for my stylist, plus one other stylist / client combo.
Immediately, I think I recognize the other “client.” I *think* she’s a fellow soccer mom. (Someone I’ve casually met a couple of times. Our daughters play together.) The problem is, I can’t be sure. I suffer from a serious misidentification issue. I can misidentify with the best of them. Lord help us all if I ever happen to be an eyewitness to a crime.
My point is I’ve lived one too many awkward waves to strangers to step out on a limb in an unsure recognition situation. So I take a seat right next to this woman. Of all the empty stations in this empty salon, I have the unfortunate luck of having a stylist who is neighbors with my possible fellow soccer mom’s stylist.
As I sit down, I try to remember her name. Honestly, I’m not sure I’ve ever known her name. As with most relationships these days, I just know her as Emily’s* mom. My name ignorance puts another wrinkle in this already awkward situation. We are sitting next to each other, not facing each other, of course, so if I want to get her attention, how do I do that? What do I say? “Do I know you?” But what if she doesn’t realize I’m speaking to her? I’d die a slow death in that scenario. I decide against it.
I sit in silence despite my poor stylist attempting to gin up some conversation. I’m so paralyzed from the situation that I can’t even adequately converse about my weekend plans. I start feeling bad about not being a good client. I say, “I’m sorry, it’s been a long week.” That’s true, but it’s also true that I don’t know how to act here.
I’m not trying to eavesdrop, but again, we are neighbors in an empty salon. Her voice sounds familiar. But am I tricking myself? It’s not enough evidence.
Her stylist makes a lawyer joke and says something about her being able to know that more than anyone. I don’t know her to be a lawyer, but I don’t know her not to be a lawyer. No help here.
I spend an entire painstaking hour thinking about this. How should I approach it? What if it isn’t her? Does she know it’s me and is she doing the same thing? Maybe she doesn’t want to be bothered. She seems friendly though. Maybe she just doesn’t want to be bothered by me.
Finally, it’s time to wash my hair, which means I get to temporarily step away from my stylist’s station and remove myself from this situation. While at the hair washing station, I feel the need to confess my idiocy. I tell my stylist gently, “Sorry I’m acting so weird. I think I might know the other client and I don’t know how to go about it.” She stares back at me in disbelief. “Just ask her.” “I can’t,” I say, “It’s too awkward now. We’ve been sitting next to each other for an hour.” The stylist replies, “I think she’s a lawyer—you probably do know her.” “No, no, not from work,” I say, “From the soccer fields.”
I can tell she’s truly perplexed that I can’t just get up the courage to ask. I don’t blame her. Why is this such a difficult task? I start beating myself up over the whole situation.
When it’s time to return to the station, I hear her talking about her daughter’s hair, and she finally says the magic word: Emily. Bingo. She is Emily’s mom. “Ok,” I think to myself, “I’m going to say something.” But before I work up the courage, she’s walking out the door with a fresh cut and a new lease on life.
“I can’t believe you never asked her,” my stylist says.
Yeah, me either.
*The daughter’s name is changed for privacy reasons.
😂 I relate much to this content... perhaps, being a second born, I have melted into not caring as much about looking stupid in public because, as second borns, we are used to being semi-outlandish to gain attention? (I state this while exposed to my second born WAY more than our typical due to “holiday with the family” so feel I have a fresh take on this theory.)
That being said, the over-think makes sense, with you as a first born. It also makes sense with you as a female. Think about it, and not to generalize here, but I’m for sure going for it, men/boys have to *somewhat* learn putting themselves out there / rejection. If not, many would never date.
A first born female is taught perfection from a very early age. Expectations. Get it right. This is why forgiveness is readily offered in these odd social scenarios. At least from me ❣️❣️❣️
My favorite is "meeting" the same person in the same scenario with the same people, and it being treated like it's the first time over and over again. I enjoy the awkward so much, I always say, "Good to see you again," or "Yes, we've met before." But, in your sitch, Kara, there are two ways to play it: One, being at the hair salon isn't that different than going to the gyne. Seriously. There's an unflattering robe involved and it's not a place or position where we want others we know to see us, right? I mean, I'm not super glamorous with hair color, foils or a wet head. Who looks good nostrils up in the shampoo bowl? Sometimes, it's just better to pretend we don't know each other. Let each other have that private time. Two is to bite the bullet and say, "I'm so sorry, but I'm having one of those days/weeks. I'm Kara/Sandra. I believe we know each other, but forgive me for not placing how." Then you (we) remove the awkwardness if they can't remember our names either. I mean, none of us can remember anything anyways anymore. Let's give up the ghost! LOL. xo